F-Word’s Liwa Sun interviews the legendary Instagram meme account @upenn.perc30.honda.dealership.
You have seen them on Instagram. Your cool friend has shared their memes on her story. You click open their page and find yourself simultaneously perplexed and delighted by the utter absurdity that you see. Enter @upenn.perc30.honda.dealership: nascent meme page, voice of ewe-Penn, and self-proclaimed ketamine addicts.
The account appeared on Instagram in September 2020. Both a creator and a curator, @upenn.perc30.honda.dealership publishes memes of an eclectic mix of styles and subjects. Some of its most recent posts include a Leninian interpretation of anime avatars, a drawing of a cow staring at the seemingly disparate “McKinsey business analyst internship” and “undergrads consulting for ‘social impact’” that converge into one dark place, and a classic bottom-text meme where a kitten poses existential questions.
This interview was conducted on a tempestuous night via Instagram.
Note: The questions of this interview were drafted out of respect for the meme account’s idiosyncratic and irreverent style. There are three admins, referred to as Joe, Nice Cock, and Geodude for the purpose of this interview.
Who are you?
Joe: We’re remaining anonymous for now. We are just three Penn students struggling through the school year.
Nice Cock: idk
Geodude: I am the universe. Did I mention I like LSD?
Describe your relationship with ketamine and should I be concerned?
Nice Cock: It’s a terrible addiction that has caused so much pain and suffering in my life. I’ve tried therapy over and over again but nothing works. Nothing has ever worked. This is a call for help.
Geodude: It’s not a crackhouse, it’s a crackhome
Joe: We actually don’t have any on hand so you shouldn’t be concerned.
Nice Cock: Bro I have like 10 kilos on me rn.
What is the meaning behind your username?
Nice Cock: No real meaning, we wanted it to start with “upenn” but the “perc30” and “honda dealership” was picked just because they were two unrelated concepts that add a level of absurdity to the name.
Joe: Yeah, what they said. Also, our name was originally “upenn_memes_gentrifier_squad” but we decided to change it because we liked the other one better.
Are you a creator or a curator?
Geodude: I’m a circumciser
Joe: Both. Specifically, we will create our own content from time to time, especially for Penn-related content. Our best work yet was probably that one post about arming the PPD with drones.
Nice Cock: I am American *aggressively dematerializes*
In one sentence, describe the style of your memes.
Joe: Our memes are a bricolage of politics, media, and aesthetics; we are the bricoleurs.
Nice Cock: Absurdist, based, and epic. Also Joe did you seriously say “bricolage”?
Geodude: Big gay.
Who is the intended audience of your page?
Nice Cock: T̴͈̕h̷̢͈̫͉̹̄̀̀͒̈e̶̪͖͋ ̷͇̝͖͐̊̐͑͜A̸̖̘͋̾̏̃͛ǹ̷̛̮͋̊͌c̵̘̼̈́̎̐͜ḭ̷̭̟́́́̓e̴͔̦̩͖͒͒̋̈́̋ͅǹ̴̻͚̘̩ͅt̷̥̾̋͒̈́͋ ̷̹͔͛̐̔̊O̷͔̹̟͂̚͘n̵̟̗͓̅̈́̔̇͜͠e̶̜̥̫͛ṣ̶̻̟̙̎̂͜
Joe: Penn Students and anyone who likes looking at memes.
What do you hope to convey to your audience?
Nice Cock: We do not exist. We are merely a figment of your imagination. It’s time to wake up.
Joe: To be honest the primary goal I have when I post is to make people laugh.
Nice Cock: Joe, we don’t exist.
Joe: Okay, sorry.
How do you distinguish from the vast field of other Penn meme pages?
Nice Cock: Our style of memes tend to venture more into the absurd and the surreal than other Penn meme pages.
Joe: Our content isn’t exclusive to Penn things. But also, where’s the vast field of other penn meme pages? There’s like, 2 others, right? When looking at a page like OUPSCC [Official Unofficial Penn Squirrel Catching Club], it’s more of a democratic process where anyone can post to the page, which makes it different from ours. Also memes there are sometimes hit or miss. Looking at @upenn.memes on Instagram, their vibe is a little different than ours. The admin of that account seems to capitalize a lot more on established templates. Plus, I’m not the biggest fan of its content sometimes. I just want to say we will NOT post Avengers memes, nor will we post anything like “Penn Hookup Bingo” and our profile picture will NOT be Elon Musk. Fuck him.
Nice Cock: Bro I love Elon tho.
Joe: Well, you stink.
Which Penn meme page is your favorite, and why do you love them?
Nice Cock: @upenn.perc30.honda.dealership because they are nice and epic.
Joe: @upenn.memes because every once in a while they post something nice.
Are you a feminist?
Geodude: I am a Chinese
Nice Cock: I’m American. God Save the Queen. *furiously dematerializes*
What is your advice for all the fellow feminists out there?
Nice Cock: If you have Ketamine pls hit us up
Joe: Keep your head up. Men at this school suck. Give Dorian Electra a listen. Stop eating &pizza every day.
Do you believe in US exceptionalism?
Nice Cock: We believe in only one thing: Reject modernity. Embrace monky
Joe: No. I understand that international relations is messy and nations (probably) are self-interested, but the US has committed atrocities in the name of democracy and moral superiority or whatever. Do you watch The Boys? Believing in US exceptionalism is like stanning Homelander.
Geodude: I am monky.
Why are you so funny?
Nice Cock: I was dropped on the head as a child
Geodude: I experienced ego death at the ripe age of 0.
Joe: I am a gamer.
Nice Cock: Also, my parents used to beat me.
Is there ever going to be an admin reveal?
Joe: Maybe, depending on how embarrassed we would be.
Geodude: Meet us under the button at midnight for an admin reveal.
Nice Cock: Feet reveal soon uwu.
Why did you make this page?
Joe: We saw that upenn.memes got 9k followers and we were like, we can do this too. It was also on a whim, and it’s pretty easy to create an instagram page.
Geodude: Unfortunately, our role model upenn.memes won’t let us follow them. Probably because they are afraid of our power.
How do you deal with the sudden rise to fame?
Geodude: It confirms what I have always known — that we are better than everyone else.
Joe: We aren’t famous (yet), and we’re not better than everyone else (yet). If you’re reading this, go follow us.
Nice Cock: Alcohol
How are you, really?
Geodude: Do you really want to know? Let me set the scene. It is the year 3069. There are rats in the sewer. But the sun is out, even brighter and hotter than a pair of perfectly rendered anime tiddies. America is now a wasteland. Your partner is making pancakes. There are rats in the pancakes, but they are pancakes nonetheless. Your partner is also a rat. You are monky. Life good.
Nice Cock: I’m experiencing acute withdrawal symptoms.
Joe: I have to learn Unreal Engine 4 in a week. Everything is hard.
Fuck, marry, kill: Hope Hicks, Tomi Lahren, Tiffany Trump.
Nice Cock: I refuse to engage in pre-marital sex.
Joe: F: Tiffany. M: Hope. K: Tomi. Tiffany, if you’re reading this, fuck you. My friend was in your sociology class when you were at Penn and he told me you got up and left once they started talking about wealth inequality.
Geodude: I’m a simp. I would marry all three 🙂
Do you love me? Y/N (circle one)
Joe: Yes. Who are you again?
Nice Cock: I love monky *haphazardly dematerializes while Jah whispers sweet nothings in my ear*
What is your take on “Penn Face”?
Nice Cock: It is a big sad.
Joe: It’s a problem and we are all complacent to some extent. I feel like as long as a culture of pre-professionalism exists, you’re always going to have this pressure to do boring shit like go into consulting and join AKPsi or something. And don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are people out there who authentically want to consult for companies at some big firm. But it’s a culture here and it’s gross.
Geodude: The face of Penn is Amy Gutmann, our trans icon.
What do you think of the Wharton School of Business?
Geodude: It was my dream school once. And it still is to this day 🙂
Joe: It can suck my ass.
Nice Cock: peepeepoopoo but most of us secretly wish we were in it.
Joe: Not me.
What is your favorite place to cry on campus?
Nice Cock: Buried in my Ketamine dealer’s muscular hairy chest
Geodude: Buried in Nice Cock’s muscular hairy chest
Nice Cock: Oh god yes.
Joe: 1920’s Commons.
What would you like to say to your devoted followers?
Geodude: Hi, sweaty!
Nice Cock: Change the world. My final message. Goodbye. *softly dematerializes*
Joe: Hello, thank you for your support, goodbye <3. And if @upenn.memes is reading this, please for the love of God let us follow the account, you’ve rejected our request like 6 times now.
Nice Cock: Become Monky.